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Get Woke, Go… Oh, Wait

Ah, man. This is unfortunate. Remember Gina Carano? That poor, victimized millionaire freethinker who was canceled by the Woke Left for pulling a whoopsie-doodle antisemitism and transphobia in a very public way? She had to strike out on her own after the notoriously outspoken lefty activists at The Walt Disney Corporation wouldn’t let her continue to create a hostile work environment for one of the most successful TV/streaming stars working today, and there was one shameless right-wing propaganda rag funded by fossil fuel billionaires principled movie studio that was happy to have her.

From a previous Awards Radar article written by some snowflake libtard:

Gina Carano has already parlayed her false persecution narrative into new cynical opportunities, signing on to star in the next movie produced by far-right grifter network The Daily Wire. This was announced so quickly after her “firing,” it’s almost certain she knew ahead of time that she wasn’t going to have a future with Lucasfilm (because again, she’s a terrible actress with a documented history of bigotry against relatives of her own co-workers) and had this little career turn in the works with failed-entertainer-turned-smug-pundit Ben Shapiro for a while, now.

The Daily Wire! Already a distinguished organization with a sterling reputation for accuracy, scientific rigor, journalistic integrity, temperance, and nonpartisan fairness, the flagship network of Awards Radar’s favorite special boy has also made the leap to feature filmmaking. Their latest release is a western called Terror on the Prairie, about a tough-as-nails frontier woman – but not in a woke feminist way! – who runs afoul of a gang of ruthless outlaws who put pronouns in their bios and probably believe in Critical Race Theory in Montana. 

The Daily Wire

With a beloved superstar like Carano signed on, this red-blooded American movie giving the people what they actually want is guaranteed to steamroll right through Woke Hollywood and…

Oh…

Oh, dear

IMDb Pro

Only $13,115? But how can this be?! Only movies that get woke go broke! Like James Cameron’s hippie dippy environmentalist anti-colonialist sci-fi parable that had at least ten minutes of action sequences featuring guns cut out of the theatrical release. That totally failed at the box office, right? Or what about that Black Panther: Wakanda Forever movie that is super-woke because of, uh, like… I’m sure it supports BLM burning down cities and stuff so that also probably didn’t do well, either! And neither did that woke version of The Batman that actually confronted Bruce Wayne’s privilege and his violent solutions for crime in Gotham and teams up with a Catwoman conservatives really hated for… some reason that I’m sure had nothing to do with racism. Also a total failure

Ah, but what about Lightyear? That was a movie that forced a two-second insert shot of a minor supporting character kissing her wife! My god, it’s like Disney is prying open the eyes of our precious children and making them watch Blue is the Warmest Colour! It’s not because the movie was confusingly marketed and centered a beloved Pixar character stripped of the thing that made him beloved in the first place, no! It’s because audiences resolutely reject all movies with positive representations of gay characters!

Random image from the hit film Everything Everywhere All At Once unrelated to my point

That’s why “Get Woke, Go Broke” should have been foolproof for us conservatives; it can be reverse-engineered to fit any box office failure and ignored if the movie is a success. Which is why it’s not “woke” when Top Gun: Maverick’s roster of the best fighter pilots in the Navy was racially diverse and featured a woman Top Gun champion.

So why, why is no one interested in Terror on the Prairie?! There has to be someone to blame! We can’t just evaluate the success or failure of the movie on complicated cultural and business influences separated from simplistic reactionary culture wars! We cannot, under any circumstances, imply that Gina Carano just isn’t as appealing a movie star as she insists she is. And definitely don’t consider the possibility that most people aren’t as bitter and resentful over increasingly diverse representation and progressive thematic content in mainstream entertainment as we are. That’s as odiously socialist as accusing Donald Trump of not being one of the most popular and beloved Presidents of all time.

If only there was a… hang on… do the always-reliable user reviews at IMDb hold the answer to our prayers?

Could it be that…

Yes! Yes, they nailed it!

The reason why Terror on the Prairie bombed is because it was woke! The Daily Wire has a globalist, feminist, wokeist agenda that they are forcing upon us real Americans! The “Get Woke, Go Broke” mantra is safe!

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Anonymous
Anonymous
20 days ago

This movie was released in 1 cinema! It was made for the daily wire! This person is full of it!

Anonymous
Anonymous
18 days ago

I’m from Europe and this article made me smile a lot. The endless war between progressive and conservative thinking is stronger than ever in the US.

david
david
18 days ago

great read. the right wing doesn’t give a shit about people – they only want to win arguments at the end of the day, they won’t even watch this movie and still give it five stars. if a goat started speaking in their favour they wouldn’t even question how an animal is talking just that it was speaking in their favour.

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Written by Robert Hamer

Formerly an associate writer for recently-retired Award Circuit, Robert Hamer is a military veteran who now spends his time obsessing over movies and pop politics.

He is returning to film and awards season commentary to return to a sense of normalcy in these plague-ridden times of rising fascism and late-stage capitalist dystopia. Join him, won't you, in these unorthodox attempts at cinematic therapy?

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