Revisiting Your Departed Loved Ones’ Favorite Films Can Be a Real Comfort

Today would have been my mother’s birthday. Now, she hated birthdays, so it’s not like we would have celebrated her 61st in any real way. With her being gone, however, I’ve found myself marking occasions more than I ever used to. In part, I think it also has to do with my grandfather’s birthday also being last week, so what would have been his 91st factors into this. However, I’m not looking to depress you all today. I’m fine, more or less, and choosing to focus on something different. Today, I want to tell you all that you can find comfort in the films your departed loved ones were fondest of.

For my grandfather, he just wanted to be entertained. The genre wasn’t super important, just entertainment value. His favorite movie was, depending on when you asked him, either Annie Hall, Blazing Saddles, or Raiders of the Lost Ark. He also would watch just about anything. I remember as a kid him telling me the plot of Species, way before I would have been able to see it. Having been a longtime projectionist, he’d give a shot to whatever unspooled before his eyes. One might say that I’ve taken that mindset and applied it in a fairly obsessive manner.

As for my mother, she was a tougher customer. She and my dad never would do new movies. They went to theaters when I was younger, but not super often. I think I can recall all of the things they actually went out to the movie theater to see, which tells you that the list isn’t long. She had her favorites, though. My Cousin Vinny, Turner & Hooch, Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory, The Wizard of Oz, and Yours, Mine and Ours would make up her all-time top five favorite films. She’d come back to them again and again,

I’ve already written about my mom loving Billy Joel here and the new song impacting me, but in the past year or so, watching these films has been a comfort. Hell, I’m not even a fan of Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory or The Wizard of Oz, but they remind me of her. Memories are all we have, so I choose to focus on the good ones as much as humanly possible.

Hopefully, you’ll get joy out of watching these things. For me, I think that when you do, in most cases, you wind up with fond memories. If Blazing Saddles or Young Frankenstein is on, I can hear my grandfather and my mother laughing. The laughter is always comforting. Laughter is the best medicine, after all, right?

Today, I’m going to be visiting the cemetery, which I may well never do again (your mileage may vary, but I don’t think the person I loved is there, so it’s kind of pointless. No shame if that’s not the case for you). It will potentially bum me out. However, I know that it will amuse me to leave my mom a can of coke. My grandfather is buried close by and will get a bottle of beer. Later, I’ll have lunch with my family, and in the evening I’ll be watching movies with some of my closest friends. At the end of the day, you live your life in a way that would please them, and not spending the day sad would please her, I know that.

Honor my mom on her birthday with a viewing of either one of her favorites, or a favorite from one of your relatives. I can assure you, these films will make you feel good. In some small way, it’ll be just like they’re right next to you, watching along. Worst case scenario? You’ll just watch quality cinema. Best case? You’ll feel your loved one, in some way. I certainly hope for the best case, not just for all of you, but for me as well.

Happy Birthday, ma. I miss you…