Film Review: ‘Anaconda’ is a Bad Remake of the Creature Feature but a Decent Comedy About Making Movies

The original Anaconda is no classic, but it’s a fun enough B-movie creature feature. It launched a horror franchise with the expected diminishing returns, though has mostly been dormant for a bit now. So, when a remake was announced, it both felt after the fact and obvious, in equal measure. The big question was how it would be approached. Would the film try to be scary? Would it just try to mimic what came before? Well, it turns out, the answer is none of the above. The creative forces here have made the new Anaconda both a soft remake as well as a parody. Some of it works, some of it doesn’t, and it’s overall amusing, even if it’s hard to consider it especially good.

Anaconda is far better of a moviemaking comedy than a horror remake. In fact, being at all a soft remake (it’s more of a meta reboot) does a disservice to the successful elements of the film. Take this cast and put them in project about making independent cinema, free from any other obligations, and you almost immediately wind up with something that’s far less uneven.

Doug McCallister (Jack Black) and Ronald Griffin Jr. (Paul Rudd) loved making movies as kids. As adults, they’re hanging on to their dreams, with Doug shootings wedding videos and Griff a struggling actor. Both are in the midst of mid life crises, leading to a reunion where Griff springs something on Doug. Through his mild Hollywood dealings, he’s acquired the rights to their favorite 90s horror film…Anaconda. Griff wants to do the remake, starring in it, alongside their friend and childhood co-star Claire Simons (Thandiwe Newton), with troubled Kenny Trent (Steve Zahn) shooting, and of course, Doug writing and directing. After the initial shock and worry about responsibilities wear off, Doug is in, the four have secured a few bucks of financing, and are off to the Amazon.

Almost inexplicably, the shoot begins, with Santiago Braga (Selton Mello) providing a real snake. Here’s the thing…there’s also a giant anaconda in the area, picking off everyone it encounters. When the group meets Ana Almeida (Daniela Melchior) she brings them into contact not just with some nefarious characters, but also this killer snake. Soon, they find themselves living out the movie they loved, with deadly consequences.

Jack Black and Paul Rudd are clearly having fun here, doing their best to have it infect the crowd throughout. Sometimes, they actually pull it off with sheer commitment to the bit. Black and Rudd are doing the sorts of characters we’ve come to know them from, but they do obviously do it well. Steve Zahn steals a few scenes with his Tim Robinson-style deliveries. Other times, it just all feels rather sweaty. Daniela Melchior and Thandiwe Newton are sadly mostly wasted, while Selton Mello is just getting to be silly and out there. Supporting players include Ione Skye, as well as a few notable cameos.

Filmmaker Tom Gormican, along with his co-writer Kevin Etten, previously blew me away with The Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent (reviewed here), and they bring their same sense of joy to this project. However, while the last time, the enthusiasm rubbed off on the audience, here there’s less of that. Gormican’s direction feels flatter, while the screenplay he co-wrote with Etten is more of a mixed bag. The satirical elements do work again, just this time there’s a half-hearted horror remake there too. Some of that is the point of Anaconda, I’m aware, but it just doesn’t wind up being enjoyable or fun. So, you end up with a scrappy little comedy swallowed up by a mediocre creature feature.

Anaconda is neither fish nor fowl. It’s not fully a moviemaking satire, nor is it fully a horror remake. There’s certainly an attempt to do something different here, it just doesn’t quite work. Is there fun to be had? Yes. Will you wish there was more fun? Also yes. So, in the end, it’s possible that this film is better than expected yet somehow now a bit disappointing. Oh well.

SCORE: ★★1/2