Cory Stillman
Emmy-winning composer Denise Santos has lent her musical talents to everything from nature docs (Primates, Island of the Sea Wolves) to award-winning short films (Taga, KAYA), often pulling from her Filipino roots to develop a sound that also recalls elements of pop, rock, and orchestral music. Her latest single “Full Circle” marks the most personal composition of Santos’ career, conveying a deep sense of vulnerability inspired by years and years of internal struggle and, eventually, healing.
“I’ve always considered myself a cheerful, optimistic person with a zest for life,” says Santos. “Somewhere along the way, as life goes, I fell into a deep well of anxiety, and eventually, nothing seemed to excite me anymore. I felt more and more detached from the world and my communities. It became so overwhelming that I could no longer show up in the world the way I wanted to, which caused me to spiral even further.”
The LA-based composer found catharsis in the songwriting process, capturing her newfound joy and freedom as part of her recovery. But Santos leant on more than just her own journey in crafting “Full Circle.” The song began as the final cue for the documentary Bridging Our Stories, which follows protagonist Alma Manabat Parker as she aims to reconnect with Filipino culture amidst its slow disappearance in the community of Ketchikan, Alaska.
One might imagine how Alma’s journey resonated with Santos. As she puts it, “the piece carries the weight of Alma’s struggles to come to terms with the diasporic nature of her existence, while also lifting her story toward a place of contentment and peace.”
Those complexities weighed on Santos all the same, and when the Composer Diversity Collective invited her to perform at a fundraiser concert, she jumped at the opportunity to rearrange “Full Circle” for the concert’s simple ensemble: a string quintet and a piano.
“The intimacy of the piano and strings gave me room to explore the emotional nuances of the original cue in a different way, and to let those moments unfold without the constraints of a film scene.”
Santos credits the CDC with helping her fully realize “Full Circle,” as she may never have revisited the track without the opportunity to perform it live, which further motivated her to think outside of her traditional approach, no longer scoring to media.
“I also usually write and perform to a metronome, but for this recording, we went with a free tempo and followed where our collective energy took us,” she says.
Check out our full interview with Denise Santos below, as we dive deeper into what makes “Full Circle” such a distinct work, and further unpack what makes the song so uniquely personal.
Hi Denise! The title of your single suggests a journey that has come back to where it started. What does ‘Full Circle’ mean to you?
- Hi Denise! The title of your single suggests a journey that has come back to where it started. What does ‘Full Circle’ mean to you?
“Full Circle” is a very personal project. I’ve always considered myself a cheerful, optimistic person with a zest for life. Somewhere along the way, as life goes, I fell into a deep well of anxiety, and eventually, nothing seemed to excite me anymore. I felt more and more detached from the world and my communities. It became so overwhelming that I could no longer show up in the world the way I wanted to, which caused me to spiral even further.
It took years of healing, but slowly and surely, I was able to find my way out of that dark period. “Full Circle” is a reflection of the joy and freedom I felt after recovering from that time in my life. It was cathartic to write something that mirrored my internal struggles, using the recurring motif as a metaphor for growth and finding my way back to a more hopeful outlook on life.
I understand this piece grew out of your own healing journey. Did it evolve as you moved through that process, or did you know from the beginning exactly what it would be?
I knew from the beginning that this piece would be about healing. The original version actually began as a cue for a documentary I scored called Bridging Our Stories, which follows our protagonist, Alma Manabat Parker, on her journey to reinvigorate Filipino culture in her small town of Ketchikan, Alaska.
“Full Circle” grew out of the film’s final cue, which was intended to reflect the success of Alma’s mission and what it meant for her and her community to have the opportunity to come together and reconnect with their roots. In the film, the piece carries the weight of Alma’s struggles to come to terms with the diasporic nature of her existence, while also lifting her story toward a place of contentment and peace.
How did you capture the shift from heaviness to joy technically within the composition itself?
The opening piano motif has a harmonic openness to it that made it possible to go in different emotional directions. In the first movement, with that recurring motif as the foundation, I was able to introduce a heavier counterpart on the piano, which represented me on my worst, darkest days.
The strings gradually enter with harmonics, reflecting my slow process of welcoming and opening myself up to the possibility of healing. They represented the world around me: the people, experiences, friendships, and support I found when I began acknowledging that I wasn’t okay.
As I moved through those different mental states, the strings became more and more present. From harmonics and soft pizzicatos to more confident staccatos and lyrical legatos. They eventually arrive in beautiful harmony with the piano. Together, all that instrumentation and composition create a lush arrangement that represents growth and synergy.
What guided your choice of piano and strings for this piece, and what did those choices allow you to express?
Many months after completing the score for Bridging Our Stories, I saw a call for compositions from the Composers Diversity Collective for an upcoming fundraiser concert. The ensemble was a string quintet and piano. I wish I had a deeper answer for this, haha, but it was that straightforward! I saw the list of instruments and rewrote the cue for that ensemble.
In retrospect, I think the instrumentation worked beautifully for the piece. The intimacy of the piano and strings gave me room to explore the emotional nuances of the original cue in a different way, and to let those moments unfold without the constraints of a film scene.
Who were your key collaborators in bringing this piece and its music video to life? What did their involvement add to the overall project?
The director of Bridging Our Stories, Rafael Bitanga, was the first person other than myself to spark the creation of this piece. His vision and passion for telling Alma’s story inspired me to dig deeper and explore its emotional nuances.
Next is the Composers Diversity Collective. Had they not organized that concert, I probably wouldn’t have revisited the piece and rewritten it for its current ensemble. Beyond making the concert happen, the organization’s support for underrepresented composers has been incredibly empowering and has played a big role in my own healing, too.
I was lucky enough to have almost the exact same musicians from the concert perform on the recording: Lisa Liu, Stephanie Matthews, Chris Woods, Niall Ferguson, and Jules Levy. When I first arrived for rehearsals, I was nervous because I hadn’t played in a setting like that for a very long time. Their support and heartfelt performances kept me going and gave me the courage to give it my best. So much so that, after the concert, I decided to invite them into the studio just a week later to record the final version of the piece that you hear on the record.
Deciding to do all of this within a week was overwhelming, but with the help of some incredibly talented and dedicated friends, we pulled it off. Grigor Abgaryan orchestrated and prepared the score. Queenie Li helped book EastWest Studios and coordinate the ensemble. Alvin Wee recorded and mixed the piece, which was then mastered by Jett Galindo. My husband, Josh Atchley, brought his camera gear and collaborated with our good friends Kevin Alejandro and Scott Fitzpatrick to capture the recording on video. Leslie Alejandro took behind the scenes photos, made sure our lighting was set up perfectly, and connected me with Angie Martell, who brought her pottery and floral arrangements to make the studio feel like home. Louise Barretto came on as production manager, making sure we stayed on schedule and within budget, and that everyone was happy and fed throughout the afternoon.
On top of all that, my family was visiting from the Philippines that week, and they were able to join us in the studio during the recording. I think our best take, which is the one you hear on the record, was the one we recorded after my family arrived at the studio.
All of these wonderful people have no idea how deeply their presence, love, friendship, and talent have impacted me, and ultimately, the creation and existence of this piece of music.
‘Full Circle’ tells its story without a single word. Could you share the intention to create this piece instrumentally and without lyrics?
As someone whose background is in film scoring, I’d like to believe that, over the years, I’ve learned the art of storytelling and conveying emotions without words. It’s a beautiful art form, and instrumental music can be incredibly powerful in expressing what words sometimes cannot.
While I’m also a big fan of songs with lyrics, I often find myself more moved by the melodies, harmonies, and arrangements than by the words themselves. Through instrumental music, I hope to inspire my audience to slow down and listen mindfully. There’s so much nuance in human emotion that I believe, in some cases, only music can truly convey.
When you set out to tell a story like this through music, how do you decide what the listener should feel, and what do you leave open to interpretation?
It’s really hard to know how somebody else will interpret my music, and I actually like leaving that open to interpretation. What I do know is that, as I write, I tap into my own emotional truth and channel it as honestly as I can. My goal is to be brave and vulnerable in expressing those feelings, while leaving room for listeners to bring their own experiences and meanings to the music.
Can you think of any recent or upcoming projects that informed your creative approach to this particular track?
- Can you think of any recent or upcoming projects that informed your creative approach to this particular track?
Bridging Our Stories informed much of the emotional arc of this piece, particularly the way it starts somber and gradually opens up to excitement and freedom.
In many ways, though, my creative approach to this composition was actually the antithesis of how I usually approach my scoring projects. In my recent scoring work, I don’t often get to dwell in musical moments for too long. Changes and development are usually needed to move a scene along.
With “Full Circle,” I had the opportunity to linger in those moments and slowly introduce new elements whenever it felt right. I also usually write and perform to a metronome, but for this recording, we went with a free tempo and followed where our collective energy took us.
It’s rare that I get to approach my work this way, and I really enjoyed the freedom that came with it. As a composer, I’m so used to adapting to the needs of a project that it’s easy to forget what it feels like to create something purely from instinct. “Full Circle” gave me the opportunity to reconnect with that part of myself. It reminded me that there’s still so much to explore outside of the way I usually work, and I hope to carry that openness and curiosity into whatever I create next.
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